Well, I went to Job Fair today at the YMCA(!!!!) in Pickering. I took the bus, I was totaly confused, didn't know what to do. Well, eventualy I got there, and missed my stop and had to walk balk a block or two. I forgot the newspaper clipping at home so I didn't know where it was so I went to the mall to find my sister, (She's always at the mall 24 hours a day, even when she's at home sleeping she's at the mall in spirit!). So I talked to Tina at Pantaloon, or Pantagram, or Panta Clause or whatever the hell the store is called and she had no idea, but she pointed East and so I headed that way. I bumped into a lot of things going East I can tell you, but I got past it. When going East had failed me I asked an elderly man because they always on the down-low about Scarbo-rough, (I know I was in Pickering but Scarborough rhymed so fuck off it's my story and I'll cry if I want to.) Anyway, he knew where it was and pointed me North-East which was far more detailed than Tina's East so I figured he must be right. So I arrived at the YMCA at last, entered, noticing the 'Job Fair' sign and figuring I was in the right place, but of course I wasn't. They told me to go back outside and follow little red mapple leaves on the ground. Of course I thought this was a ploy to get rid of me because there's millions of maple leaves in Canada (if you don't believe me look at our flag.) and so I went outside reluctantly to find little cut-out construction paper maple leaves leading the path down to the YMCA office. It was really funny because I felt like that girl in The Wizard of Oz. I forget her name but that's not important, the only important thing is that I pictured little midgets with incredibly, insanely, inhumanely high pitched voices singing "Follow the maple leaf road! Follow the maple leaf road!!!".
So I get to the office and it's all nicely coloured with yellows and oranges and greens and purples and oh my god the colour!!! So, one of the people approach me and hand me some forms, then they pass me on to someone else, and they give me a bunch of forms and send me along, and then after about four more times around one of them leads me to the back room where they show me where everything is so I can conduct my job search. Then they put me in a room where I fill out my forms, there were chips in the middle of the table but nobody likes Ketchup chips so they remained untouched. I finished up and then she took a look at my sheet and said "Oh! You're eligable for our job search!" at this point I was just thinking "Did the maple leaves lead me the wrong way or is this girl just a moron? How could she not know I was here for a job...? It says 'JOB FAIR' in the window and all the employees said "Oh, you're here for the job fair?"." So, she told me that I was supposed to be in the first YMCA building in the first place. I wish I had just smacked my head right there as if to say "Oh my god you morons!". Well, I retraced my tracks and it wasn't easy some of the maple leaves had moved in the wind while I was gone. So I went past it, didn't see it, came back, still didn't see it, went back one last time and I was about to give up and then I saw it. (The 1st office is tiny and it's so hard to see from the parking lot.) So I went in and they sent me to the back room where there was a TV and chips and it looked like a party was going on, a job search party! How fun!?!?! I grabbed some application sheets that looked spookily like Civics/Careers work... *Shudders at the thought of Civics with Mrs.Drizzlecock* *Shudders at the name Drizzelcock* Enough shuddering, the point is that it looked like crap work. I sat down when I had all my forms and then I noticed to my left was none other then Dax Daicompolous! It seemed Dax was out of a job as well. He kept trying to get me to eat one of the cookies but I wasn't hungry so I blatantly refused, but even if I was hungry a cookie from Dax means there's something horribly, but not visibly wrong with it. Like perhaps he wiped his ass with it and then sprayed it with his 'Delicious Cookie' cologne. Anyway, I refused and continued to do my work. I took a quick breather only to notice that he was filling out a form for Blockbuster and since I didn't feel like being a dick right then and there I pointed out the fact that you need to be atleast 18 years old to work at Blockbuster because they sell x-rated movies. Dax then threw his papers against the table and said "Fuck! I just filled out all these fucking forms!" then he took out about 10 applications for video stores that he had filled out already. I laughed at him, he looked angry at first and then he laughed later so it was all good. It was long and boring and there was rap music videos playing on the TV but it was fun because Dax was there and he was being his usual angrily funny self.
Y'know I was thinking about me, Dax and Renee, the group. We got it all nicely balanced out, we got the small angry guy who tries to be a big angry guy, we got the weird tom-boy girl who when put to the test is pretty friggin smart, and we got the big lunky airheaded guy who turns out to actualy be pretty smart but he looks and acts like a total idiot. It's a nice balance and I like. Too bad we all had to go and get expelled except Renee. Anyway, it was 5 o'clock soon and that means we all had to go because the bastards at YMCA didn't want to help us if it wasn't on their schedule. So, I went outside in the -8000 degree cold and I was waiting for the traffic light to change so I could cross the street and catch my bus. I was standing there for a good 5 minutes waiting, stupid lights and I started thinking "I swear to god, if my bus goes past when I'm over here waiting in the freezing cold for the stupid traffic lights to change I am going to be pissed the fuck off!!!" so naturaly the powers that be felt curious at my threat and my bus went straight past me. As soon as it was out of sight the traffic lights changed. So now I'm stuck on the other side of the street waiting in the bus shelter for another 15-30 minutes for the next bus, there was a poster for a Rob Schneider movie called "The Hot Chick" I think it involves transexuality which when translated into Scottish means 'no thanks'. The bus came finally, I was starting to think Rob Scneider might actualy make a nice looking girl, obviously the cold was distorting my senses of everything logical. I was happy to be on the bus and out of the cold and it only cost me a dollar and twenty-five cents! If heat only costs $1.25 then why don't homeless people ride the bus more often? I got to the Ajax GO Train station but that's not where I wanted to go so I transfered and went from bus to bus trying to find the one that I wanted. Turns out it was the 'Beach route' bus that I wanted so I rode it all the way home, baby! That just sounded wrong... Well, I'm home now and I'm warm at last. We have a new stove coming! Yay!!! I hate my stove... The new one will be so much better! The technology of the 21st century at last and in white instead of ugly lime green!
