whhhhat the fuck??? erin i hate you with a fucking passion...you have no idea what its like to be me....you dont know what i go through. so you can get that stupid fucking idea out of your head...look i didnt say anything to christinas mother...you know sorry that i found an audult that i can talk to...look, i'm not breaking moms heart, or yours either, sorry for the way that i feel. its not my fault...i never said taht i was abused..and i want to know what the fuck is happening around here, you blame me for not knowing, but how am i when no one will tell me...why do i feel like im at fault here...i never said that i wasnt lucky. i know that i am, but you gotta reliaze that my life inst perfect. but i really want o know what the hell is going onhere...like really...what the fuck....you cant blame me for stuff that i dont know about....my bussines is none of yours. look thats great, i let christinas mom in so that she could pick up my bestfriend...also very soory that when stuff at home isnt that great for me taht i go to her house where i can look after me....you know that im not "right" in my mind....ive got mad shit going on...erin you are the cause of alot of my problems....im not at all who you think i am..you may seem to think that you know me but really all you know is my name. i need to deal with m,e first, before i can deal with you and your problems which you have a very scary way of reminding me of dad. you have angrar problems, you need to get help...and im sorry that i have a avid memory, and remember thinks in detil from when i was 15months old...erin weather you beleive me or not, those things have scareed me...you have got to realize that sometimes actually most of the time mom doesnt know how to deal with me...she says things and does things that set me off to the point taht i dont trust myself and need to be with others. and by others i mean friends...stinas is a 'safe' place for me...some of the "stupid" things i do arent to make you happy, theyre to make me happy...look im sorry that i cant be happy all the time, and that i need to take medication. its not my fault though, so stop trying to make it as it is though... my life isnt about making everyone else happy, its about making me happy first. i cant make others happy unlessi am truly happy myself. sorry that you dont understand that, maybe someday you will. maybe someday you'll undersatnd me..not likely though. erin, you do stuff to piss mom off as much as i have. and yes i know that mom has had a hard life, but that doest mean taht i have to pay for her mistakes. look somesay you'll realize taht mom's not always right. i am not teh same person as she is, i'm not living her life, i dont do or thingthe same things as she does, or that you do....im different....you honselty think taht i dont know that im a screw up? maybe if you didnt push it in my face all the bloody time....maybe erin....look why do you focus on me. you have your own problems....you guys have to ket me make my own mistakes, live my own life... the more you yell at me the more i want to run away from you, and do things that you dont want me to do.....you dont know who i am.....not even my name......