well here i am again, im going to try writing for 10minutes straight.its 3:56 right now, i've been pon the interente for 4 hours now....dont relly know what to say here. i'm really thankful for teh delet botton. i justed to watch a lot of flipper when i was a kid. that was a great show! i want to be a dolphin, they are really smart, have sex for pleasure, they are outgoing and friendly. they are everything that i ant to be.....big friendly bear.....i want a bear hug. i love hugs, they beat kisses, becuase you are so much closer to a person when you hug them. but kisses are great because i only kiss the people that i am really comfortable round...well i on a regualar basis kiss keith and alley....but if youlook at my pryor post keith=alley....we decided this...hahah, i wish i was wearing lipstick..i wish that i had lip blam...only 6 minutes left.isnt that sad irts taken me 2 minutes to write all this. i think that i write way to sslow....and and andad adnanda anandandanda dnaand nad and and i'm really tired and i can feel my heart beat. i wanrtto go to the dungeon on march 8th..want to go to a ska show with stina....abnd and and anadand and anad my little cusion spiked my hair today na dwe played hair dresser..she put aLOT of gel iin my hair and when i rub it to take the stiffness out of the spikes to get green shit all over my shoulders..damn gel...old people have great stories, some of my favorrite kind. i love stories, i love to read. i love my friends and andanadaandanadandanadandanda dna and and and adna i dont know what to write...there was a girl on the swings sets she just kept looking at the sky, she was bottleng up and tearing up all her problems and sending themn to the sky.ytlet them become the stars prblems, let the clouds wisp them away. and she would try to become one woth teh sky. she wanted to fly. everytime her parents fought, or she was ina croud of people. everytime that her friends made fun of her for being different and weird. everytime that she didnt live up to other people's expecations,. everytime taht someone called her names.but she was determinded to play hockey, she was sdetereminded to be one of the guys, and earn they're respect....she would try as hard as she could to become the fastes skater on her team, learn how to do stuff theat the boys didnt know how to do. she worked so hard and beat herself up so much. if she failed at a sport she would kick herself in teh ass...her second year of playing girls hockey she became the rock. she always got to say what postion that she wanted to play, that being defense..sometimes she would play forward, she needed to be good at everything, well be good enough...that year she tryed out for the school hockey team. it was a boys team.. she had ashma, and hated to play with them because they never let her get the puck when she was playing. one guy would come all the way from the other end to get the puck, meanwhile she was right there. but she was determined that she would be equal to them. she was going to earn they're respect. so she stuck to it, played when ever she could, entered as many touraments as she could. played street hockey in the snow with her guy friends...the next year she tried out again for the school hockey team and made it oncea gain... she stil didn't get played as much, but she would get there in time, she jst wasnt always sure what to do, she put so much pressure on herself...she had to be good at hockey. she had top earn the respect of the guys and shge just had to bnabale to do something taht her "friends" couldn't do. they were dancers and singers, and really good at sports and at school. but this little girll wasnt good at anything imperticular. she always felt that she had to be really good at something. that that was what she brought...maybe they would like her more if...but that year she did get better. then the following year she came back and she had attuide. she wasnt going tyo take shit from anyone...her dad had just started clling them again after a 6month peroid where her and her sisters had gotten in a bnig fight with him...so she went to practise with her lucky pink laces, they were from the year before, she was one of the star players and her and her hockey buddies got pink laces...so she showed up there with her pink laces and a newly curved hockey stick..she was ready, faster than ever. she had spent the summer practising, she would swim all the time, and her uncle bob had taught her some more stick handdling, and they came up with plays and what that she would do in that sitution...she was determined...she wasnt going to take shit from anyone...so this year she got her own dresssing room.. she liked it, but liked being with the boys better.. so she made it.. she was starting line power play...she was so proud. one preticular game they were playing this team that they abusluted hated.. her father promised that he would come and see her play... it was one of the few games taht she let him come to her games...she knew from teh year before taht she would spend the whole game looking for him, and if he did show up then it would be in the last 5 minutes, or not at all...so this game she was playing and the star player, her friend, had gotten cross-checked, and it hurt pretty bad. but he stayed on, and he just was there, and it was the exact oppistite of what had happened 2 years before...he told her to get everything... and she did, she did exceptionally...she was so proud of herself...even though she had spent most of the game looking for her father...big let down yet again...it was like she was setting her self up for disspointment...but they beat them and moved on to the finals....so there they were. most important game of the year, and she had invited her father once again...she had become pretty good friends with teh star player, everytime taht he scored a goal, or whenever a goal was scored he would skate back and hit her in the thighs...she was so happy....but he knew that her dad was supposed to show up for the game...so he was looking for him too...she had so much pressure on...she spent her whole game looking to see if her dad would show up...5 seconds before the buzzer rang, he walked in talking on his cell phone....they had lost the game...she couldnt concentrate because she was looking for him...she ran to her dressing room crying...this was one of the most important moments in her life and he had missed it, her game was off because he missed it... she began to hate him... when she was done changing she went out and he congratulated her on a good game...he prented that he was there the whole time...but she was furesous...and that was the last game of ice hockey that she played...if he had known that maybe he would have shown up, maybe he wouldnt have lied about it, the world id full of possibilities...but out of all taht she became one of the guys... she was considered an asset to be on the guys team when they played street hockey..she was happy, she was one of the guys...and the star hockey player even remembered what hand she played with and would bring her sticks to play with in case she didnt have hers on her. suddenly it didnt matter if he didnt show up, she was one of the guys...he uncles would end up taking her to hockey games, and to her important games, in softball...but she was one of the guys......