Tuesday, March 02, 2004

oh boy, skip this post, as it's nothing but me whining...
so I don't really know whats happening with my cat. thier running some tests on her, and now they want over $1300 + for the surgery. so me and my sister have to have $600 for april 11th. but i dont know if its just better to put her down, or not. last time she had this surgery, she was sick for over a month, is it just cruel to put her through it again? as well as she may have other problems, and will end up being a sickly cat. I just don't know. I love my cat, but bah, damn this is hard.

I'm also at a point in my life, where I just want to give up on some stuff. Like getting better, my meds are so damn expensive, and I don't know if they really help, well they do, but I just don't know, if its all worth the effort, having to get blood work done all the time, and having to go to doctors every 2 weeks for more meds, and i just dont know if its worth it. This happened to me with my back. shoulder too, nothing was working and it just gets fustrating and you just don't know if your ever going to get better. Like am I better off my meds, or will that just trigger more depression/anxity and massive mood swings? is it worth my time? Am I wasting everyone elses time (ie. the theapists, the psychologists, the psyhirists) like, I just don't know. Should I just give up and accept that this is the way I am?!? That yes, I have my downs, but I generally know how to avoid having major breakdowns. I'm just so utterly confused, and fustrated I guess.
But it doesnt just apply to medical stuff. like stuff with this guy I like, I havent talked to him in a while, do I just give up, and who cares?
I just don't know whats worth the effort anymore. It doesnt really seem like much is anymore. Oh well, I guess I'll go take a nap (haha thats always worth the effort!!!) and pick up my room so my mum gets off my back .
tralalalallala

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home