man how can we ever get out of these pits of depressiong and paranoia. i was so worried last night. drugs+night+lake=bad. i was terrified. have i acted strange towards you alley? im worried about you yes but after reading what you wrote its not without reason. me and brandi have decided that we need proffesional counceling. we just keep getting pulled back down its a visious cycle. never appologize for who you are. i wish i could have been with u and ur dinner date but im still exausted and unwell. the nights are the weirdest. all day im tired yet i cant get to sleep. and when i sleep i always dream before all this crap happened i hadnt dreamed for a while/. its weird how are minds are. i am quite intreaged by them. im trying not to worry about this coming week. its gonna be difficult. the one month. valentines day etc. i was talking to brandi about relationships actually/ my problem is i dont kno what i want. its so confusing. i think that i want a relationship now but if i get the opportunty i think i may just let it pass me by like always. after the opportunity is gone i feel like kicking myself/ were all so confused. im so confused/. write me if u have ne advice. assuming u understood what i just wrote.
hope things get better
later