well i got back from stinas surprise party a little while ago....man i feel like an ass...my bestfriends 16th and i was balling the whole bloody time....of course i was on the porch or in justines room, or in the bathroom....as many of you know, my uncle is dying of stomac cancer....ive known this man all my life, and now the dont expect him to live through feburuy....i have so many memories of him...so that was one of the reasons that i was all upset... then theres the whole Eerik thing...then all the stress....all my friends are going through so much, and i hate to see them all upset, or know taht something is killing them inside...so thats happening too...well what else can i say....i love keith even more for keeping the attention off of me, so that stina could still enjoy her b-day and so taht it wouldnt turn into a ball fest...i myself am so mad at myself for doing that, just breaking down....i wasnt there really to celebrate my bestfriend's 16th birthday...man i feel like crap...oh well....now wondering what shall i do tommorow....